Starting a surrogacy journey is a meaningful step toward growing your family. It is exciting, emotional, and deeply personal. With the right preparation, you can begin the process feeling grounded, informed, and confident. At Tandem, we guide intended parents and gestational carriers with clarity and care so the entire experience feels intentional from the very beginning.
In gestational surrogacy, embryos are created through IVF using the intended parents’ or donors’ genetic material. These embryos are then transferred to the surrogate’s uterus, where the surrogate carries the pregnancy to term.
What is Gestational Surrogacy?
Gestational surrogacy stands as the most popular form of surrogacy today, giving you a genuine path to parenthood when carrying your own pregnancy simply isn’t in the cards. With gestational surrogacy, your chosen surrogate carries a pregnancy that’s created through in vitro fertilization (IVF), using either your own eggs and sperm or donor gametes, whichever works best for your situation. Here’s what makes this approach special: your surrogate carries your baby, but shares no genetic connection to the child. The embryos get created in a lab setting, are tested and cryogenically frozen, and then transferred directly to your surrogate’s uterus when it’s time, where she’ll carry your pregnancy through to delivery. For countless intended parents, gestational surrogacy opens the door to having your own biological child and building the family you’ve dreamed of, all with the support of a truly compassionate surrogate.
Understand Your Goals and Expectations
Take time to think about what matters most to you. Ask yourself what type of experience you want. Consider the level of communication you hope to have, the type of relationship you want with your gestational carrier, and your preferences around medical details and decision making. Your personal preferences play a crucial role in shaping your surrogacy journey, ensuring the process is tailored to your unique needs and values. Having a clear vision helps you feel more in control and helps your agency find the right match. Keep in mind that individual circumstances can influence the surrogacy process, so it’s important to discuss these with your agency.
Surrogacy Journey Timeline
Your surrogacy journey is going to be unique to you, but here’s what you can realistically expect: most families find themselves on this path for about 18 to 24 months from that very first consultation until you’re holding your baby. The whole thing kicks off with getting you set up and matched with the right surrogate for your family, then you’ll dive into the legal and medical prep work. Once you get a successful embryo transfer, your surrogate takes the reins during pregnancy while your agency keeps everyone supported along the way. Understanding these key milestones ahead of time really helps both you and your surrogate know what’s coming and feel confident about each step. Your surrogacy agency becomes your guide through every step of the process.
Choose a Surrogacy Agency You Trust
A strong agency creates structure and reduces uncertainty. Look for an agency that is transparent, communicative, and aligned with your values. You should feel comfortable asking questions and confident that they handle screenings, legal steps, and support with care. The right agency becomes your guide and your advocate throughout the journey, leading you through a thorough matching process to ensure compatibility and shared values.
Prepare Emotionally
Surrogacy comes with big feelings. Hope, excitement, anxiety, and relief often show up at the same time. Give yourself space to process the emotional side. Consider speaking with a counselor or therapist who understands fertility and family building. Connect with others who have gone through surrogacy. Moral support from friends, family, and professionals is crucial for navigating the emotional ups and downs of the surrogacy journey. The more emotionally grounded you feel, the smoother the journey becomes.
Plan for the Financial Side
Surrogacy is a significant financial commitment. Create a budget that includes agency fees, legal costs, compensation for the carrier, insurance, and medical expenses. Many families use a combination of savings, financing programs, employer benefits, or grants. Preparing early gives you flexibility and peace of mind.
Support Your Gestational Carrier
Healthy communication sets the tone for a positive journey. Be open, respectful, and collaborative. Ask your agency about preferred communication styles to ensure both sides feel comfortable. Establishing a positive relationship with your gestational carrier is essential for a successful surrogacy journey, as it fosters trust and emotional well-being for everyone involved. Remember that both you and your gestational carrier share responsibilities and should be involved in key medical decisions throughout the process, respecting her autonomy and ensuring clear communication with your medical team. Thoughtful support builds trust and makes the experience more meaningful.
Surrogacy FAQs and Myths
Surrogacy can feel overwhelming, especially when misinformation and outdated assumptions circulate widely across online forums and social media. Many intended parents find themselves questioning the legal frameworks that protect all parties, the psychological impact on gestational carriers, and how a comprehensive surrogacy agreement safeguards everyone’s interests throughout the journey. A reputable surrogacy agency serves as your most valuable resource for evidence-based information and professional emotional support, helping both intended parents and surrogates navigate complex questions and address legitimate concerns with expert guidance. By distinguishing verified facts from persistent fiction, you can make well-informed decisions and move forward with complete confidence, knowing you have the right professional support every step of the way.
Prepare for the Birth and Post Birth
Once the journey is underway, think ahead to the hospital plan, travel arrangements, newborn care, and what the first days as a family will look like. Work closely with your surrogate to create a birth plan that outlines delivery preferences and hospital procedures, ensuring everyone is prepared for labor and delivery. It’s also essential to prepare all necessary legal documents and obtain a pre-birth order to establish parental rights and legal parentage before the baby is born, in accordance with relevant surrogacy laws. Throughout the pregnancy, prioritize prenatal care and regular doctor appointments to support a healthy and, ideally, uncomplicated pregnancy. Many intended parents find comfort in visiting the carrier’s clinic beforehand, touring the hospital, or planning newborn necessities early. Your agency will help coordinate the logistics so everything feels smooth and predictable. After the birth, make sure to obtain the baby’s birth certificate and handle any post-birth legal or logistical steps to finalize your family’s new beginning.
Start the Journey with Confidence
Preparation does not remove every unknown, but it gives you steady ground to stand on. A well-planned approach helps you feel more present, more supported, and more ready for what is ahead and the journey ahead requires thoughtful preparation, support, and understanding to ensure a positive surrogacy experience.
If you are considering surrogacy or preparing to begin, Tandem is here to guide you every step of the way. Reach out today and take the first step toward your family’s future.
